A new mom is filled with a volatile set of emotions. Whatever you do, remember to steer clear of these five things.

1. “Sleep When The Baby Sleeps.”
Honestly, she has been hearing this from everyone even before the baby was born. Sleep when your baby sleeps may be the easiest thing to say to a new mom, but does it actually work? Don’t even try and ask her that. This can be a nearly impossible thing to do when you have a new baby, as the baby’s nap time is the only time the new mom can do anything else. If she already has other children, the baby’s nap time will mean more child duty.

2. “Don’t Worry, You’ll Soon Get Used To The Sleepless Nights.”
That may be true, but you don’t really need to spell that out for the new mom. A new mom is sleep deprived, is busy with constant feeding and has no time for anything—the only thing that keeps her going is the thought that very soon all will be fine. You coming out with the truth and trying to break the bubble will do no good.

3. “My Goodness, You Look Tired!”
Sure you may mean it in a sympathetic way, but telling a new mom that she looks tired and haggard will really hurt her self-esteem. A new mommy does not have any control over her days and nights, and with so little sleep, she is bound to look the way she does.

4. “Do All Babies Cry So Much?”
Yes, all babies do cry, but if you point out that her baby is crying a little more than others, it can immediately put a new mom on edge and bring alive her worst fears. She could start feeling she is not a good mother, or she could start worrying about her baby’s health. If you are really worried that the baby is crying a lot, you can put it across in a different way. ‘My baby would cry a lot during those early weeks and we found out our baby has colic. You can ask your doctor on the next visit. And don’t worry, its nothing serious’–could be a slightly better way of handling it.

5. “How Does It Feel To Breastfeed?”
Don’t automatically assume she is breastfeeding. Not all moms may be able to breastfeed their baby, even if they want to. Bringing up the topic can touch a sore point and make a new mommy extremely emotional. Let her tell you about it before you bring it up.

A pregnancy & babycare writer as well as wellness believer, Debolina is always trying to bring in health and wellness into her family’s, especially her kids’, lives. With a Master’s degree in English literature, she has worked with several mothercare and babycare brands. In her free time, she helps with campaigns that work towards promoting the health and well-being of women and babies. Her experiences as a mother help her talk about busy modern-day parenting and its changing trends.