Relationships are all about honesty, sharing and openness. So whether it’s your hopes for the future, your current state of finances, or your opinion about things that matter, it’s good to air them out. But what about matters of a more private nature? When it comes to things like personal sexual fantasies, even the most vocal partners tend to think twice before opening up about their deepest, darkest desires.
Sounds familiar? Let’s take a look at why this happens and what you can do about it with some quick, painless and simple tips.
Why Couples Don’t Share Their Secret Fantasies With Each Other
- Lack of self-awareness: It’s quite possible that you may not be clearly aware of your fantasies or that you haven’t exactly given it much thought.
- Embarrassment and judgment: You are aware of your fantasies and are not only ashamed of them, but also judge yourself harshly for having them at all.
- You fear being judged and rejected by your partner: Even if you are at ease with your secret desires, you don’t trust your partner to accept and understand them.
How To Discuss Your Sexual Fantasies With Your Partner
- Accept Them Wholeheartedly: These are your fantasies, so stop being so harsh and calmly embrace this side of yourself. Your comfort with your own desires will make it easier to communicate them to your partner. You don’t want even the slightest hesitation or smallest hint of discomfort to influence them negatively.
- Realize They Are Special: If you think your secret fantasies make you different and separate you from your partner, think again. While they are indeed special and make you unique, they can be used as a tool to actually bring you and your partner closer to each other by increasing trust and intimacy, and encouraging them to trust you enough to take your relationship to the next level.
- Package Them Attractively: While you should avoid the hard-sell here, it won’t hurt to use some marketing savvy while making a case to your partner. Whether this includes referring to other followers of similar fantasies or showing them videos of couples indulging in these activities in a safe and interesting manner, it will clue your significant other into the ‘culture’ before you convince them to attempt it.
- Make Them Appeal To Your Partner: Find out what about your fantasies have the potential to excite, interest and charm your partner. Then present it to them as an opportunity to bring out that side of their personality. Saying that you want to try something because you love their adventurous side or that you would like to take them to the edge of their inhibitions because you know how bold they truly are will capture their attention and is more likely to garner their approval and participation.
- Start Small, Sweet & Simple: Once you’ve tickled their fancy and aroused their interest, be gentle about introducing them to your secret desires. Don’t invite the whole circus into the room or unleash the full range of your kinky aspirations. Begin with a small introduction that they can handle and slowly work your way up in increments once they feel comfortable. Hopefully, they will be open to pushing the boundaries of your fantasy even further than you ever imagined.
Clear and honest communication is the key to great experiences both inside and outside the bedroom. Tap into that and we can assure you of a great time together.