Q: Got any suggestions for quelling a three-year old’s tantrum when they’re in the thick of it? (Crying at the top of their lungs, and nothing seems to comfort her.)
A: Tantrums are one of the great challenges of parenthood. Children get frustrated and need an opportunity to express that and, unfortunately, sometimes with a great deal of noise and upset. What’s a parent to do? Stay calm and stay close, for starters. Don’t try to discipline, yell, or restrain your child. Let your child release pent up frustration, but stay nearby to keep them safe and to be there for comfort. Give your child attention. It may be that some of the frustration stems from not being heard or responded to. Reassuring words like “It’s okay” will do a world of good compared to efforts to get your child to be quiet. Try not to take it personally or to be embarrassed if you are in a public place. Every parent has to deal with tantrums. Draw on your patience and empathy and try to figure out what your child’s triggers are. Look for signs of hunger and frustration early on, find your balance between helping and letting your child do things independently, and remember that as they get older, coping skills for managing frustration will be the key to calmer behavior.
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