Change Your Money Mindset By Creating A Money Love Story (Here's How!)

by Emma Bathie

Tax season is upon us now, but good money management is a skill for every single day. This is part three of a three-part series about responsible money management featuring female financial trailblazers Denise Duffield-Thomas and Kate Northrup. Read part one here. Read part two here.

Meet Kate Northrup, Author of Money, A Love Story

I was drawn to Kate Northrup, a a money mentor and the author of Money: A Love Story, Untangle Your Financial Woes And Create the Life You Really Want, because of the way she talks about creating a relationship with money. Until taking in her work I hadn’t given much thought to money, until the day came when I, like many others along the way, was struck with the notion that there might not be enough for me. If I did think about money, it was without much thought for the object itself. In my mind, money was an innate thing that simply needed to be within my reach when I needed it.

All that changed however when I began reading Northrup's book and was introduced to her philosophy on creating a relationship with money. That is, not just any relationship, a real love story. To dive deeper into her work, I asked Northrup to share with us more about her book and her money philosophy.

Also on Z Living: Learn good money management weekly by tuning into Z Living's popular show House Poor, which features homeowners with a large house debt and finds practical ways to help ease the burden. Watch House Poor Thursdays at 4 PM. Find out where to watch the show here.

Kate Northrup Spoke To Z Living About How She Formed Her Love Story With Money:

Z LIVING: Please tell us how your book helps readers create a love relationship with money.

NORTHRUP: Having a good relationship with money is tough — whether you have millions in the bank or just a few bucks to your name. Why? Because just like any other relationship, your life with money has its ups and downs, twists and turns, breakups and makeups. And just like other relationships, living happily with money really comes down to love — which is why love is the basis of my book.

After taking my Money Love Quiz to see where on the spectrum your relationship with money stands — somewhere between “on the outs” and “it’s true love!” — you begin getting a better understanding of yourself and your money. Step-by-step exercises that address both the emotional and practical aspects of your financial life help you figure out your personal perceptions of money and wealth and how to change them for the better. You’ll learn about thought patterns that may be holding you back from earning what you’re worth or saving what you can. You’ll learn how to chart your current financial life and create a plan to get you to where you want to be – whether that’s earning enough to live in a penthouse in Manhattan or a cabin in the Rockies.

Using client stories and my own saga of moving from $20,000 of debt to complete financial freedom by the age of 28, I act as a guide in the reader’s quest for personal financial freedom. In this book I teach you how to shift your beliefs about money, create a budget, spend in line with your values, get out of debt, and so much more. In short, I teach you to love your money, so you can love your life.

Also on Z Living: 5 Money Practices To Put You On The Path To Prosperity

Z LIVING: What kind of space were you in when you wrote this book – did it come about by you wanting to achieve or change something within yourself or was it a repeating need you saw in the initial clients that came to you in your earlier days as a life/business coach?

NORTHRUP: I was in debt myself and I felt very stuck around my earning potential and the way I was valuing myself. It was unraveling that pickle that inspired me to create the content that’s in the book and that helped me pay off my debt, double my income, and double my savings within less than 6 months. And it’s helped thousands of other people make dramatic changes in their financial lives too!

The content came from my own lived experience and then teaching workshops based on it throughout the US. I saw during those workshops that I wasn’t so different from my clients so that’s where the book and the program came from — realizing that most women need to learn a better way to relate to money and themselves that’s based on love rather than fear.

Also on Z Living: This Is What It Means To Live Beyond Your Means

Z LIVING: Obviously people are wanting to create a better money story for themselves when they seek out your work – can you give our audience some examples of what people are wanting to heal / change within themselves when they buy your book?

NORTHRUP: A lot of people who seek out my work are money avoiders and they want a gentle, kind approach to actually getting into relationship with their money so they feel empowered around it. Some are in debt and want to get that debt paid off. Others want more love and empowerment in their lives in general and find that money is a great, tangible, practical place to start.

Also on Z Living: How To Feel Abundant Even With A Drawer Full Of Bills

Z LIVING: Thinking about the feedback you’ve received from your book, and from the graduates of your program The Money Love Course, do you see an instantaneous shift with your clients or does it take months of perseverance?

NORTHRUP: Often there’s an instantaneous shift. When we change our mind about something, like money, the way we feel about it shifts instantly. And then when we feel better about it, we take different actions, which lead to different results. So people can experience changes right away.

Also on Z Living: Are You 'House Poor'? 5 Reasons Why & 5 Solutions

Z LIVING: What stories or negative self-talk do you still deal with even though you’ve created this work?

NORTHRUP: If I’m not careful I still can slide back into being a money avoider. But now I have the structures and practices in place in my life that I teach in my book and program so that I catch myself much sooner. I also still struggle with owning my value sometimes and that’s so deeply connected to money. But the beauty of transformation is that it’s an upward spiral. We may revisit the same lessons and stories, but it’s always from a higher state of consciousness so the lessons are learned on a deeper level each time.

Also on Z Living: 3 Smart Tips To Track Your Cash

Z LIVING: What’s the one thing you do everyday that has made the biggest impact on you living a life of financial freedom – that anyone just starting out on their path of feeling financially free could easily implement?

NORTHRUP: I respect my money. When I spend cash I place the change back in my wallet intentionally. I make sure the bills are unfolded and in numerical order, all facing the same direction. I check in on my bank account balance. I spend money according to what I value, not what others value or trying to do something to make someone else happy. That’s a huge shift that’s simple to do each day — checking in with ourselves when we spend money and asking ourselves, “Is this purchase in alignment with what I truly value?”

Also on Z LivingHow To Turn The Direction Of Your Life Around, Fast

Z LIVING: Could you speak to how you cope when something financially completely unexpected happens – for example a huge bill comes in, or on the more positive side, an event comes up that you you’d loved to attend but there’s just no financial wiggle room for it.  What do you do to either not go into fear or allow yourself to get excited and get the cash together for it?

NORTHRUP: If I really want something and I can’t stop thinking about it, like going to an event or an investment in my business, I figure out a way to get the money to do it if it’s not already within my immediate means. But since becoming a mom a little over a year ago my life has really been pared down in a beautiful, simplified way. I’m finding that I get much more satisfaction out of crawling around on the floor with my daughter and staying close to home than going to events or doing the “shinier” things I used to do. So I don’t find I want to do things that I don’t have the means for very often. 

When an unexpected expense comes up I almost always feel like, “well, there’s more money where the came from,” when I pay for it. As an entrepreneur, I really get how we can earn more money if we find solutions to enough peoples’ problems, so I don’t get stuck too often in fear or lack. But, when I do, I really check in with my body and listen to the place in my body where that emotion lives. I ask that part of myself what it needs and more often than not I get a great answer that has little to do with money. This money thing is an emotional web. It’s almost never about the dollars and cents and it’s almost always about your childhood, your sense of self worth, and your beliefs around what that worth means in the world. When you can make shifts there, your financial life changes for the better.

Z LIVING: What’s been the most surprising thing about creating this body of work that you couldn’t have possibly guessed or imagined prior to doing it?

NORTHRUP: I still find it so amazing and beautiful how many people’s lives have changed by implementing the suggestions that I make. It’s humbling to realize that a curriculum I put together based on the steps I took to help myself has helped that many other people. It’s the most gratifying thing in the world to hear that something I did is helping someone else live a better life.

Ready To Start Your Own Money Love Story? Keep These Takeaways From Kate Northrup In Mind:

  • Learning how to relate to money in a way that’s based on love rather than fear will always be one of the best things you can do to stand on your own two feet financially.
  • Before handing over your money for bigger purchases, ask, “is this purchase in alignment with what I truly value?” Allow the answer to guide your decision.
  • When feelings of fear or lack rear their ugly heads around money, check in with your body and listen to the place where that emotion lives. Ask that part of yourself what it needs — more often than not, you’ll get a great answer that has little to do with money, protecting the sacred relationship we should all be cultivating with money.

If you’re ready to start your own love affair with money, start by checking out Kate Northrup's book Money: A Love Story, Untangle Your Financial Woes and Create the Life You Really Want.

Read more:

Emma Bathie is a Soul Happiness Coach. Learn more about her work and how to create more of life's meaning and magic HERE.

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