Are all of your friends building families, or getting engaged except you? It is that time of the year when it feels like every person you know is announcing a proposal or pregnancy on Facebook.
Whether you're single, or just enjoying a less-intense relationship, this can cause a mixture of feelings like anger, jealousy, or disappointment. Here are some suggestions to help you deal with your friends getting engaged and starting families.
*For those who enjoy weddings and matrimony, check out Z Living’s Altar’d on Tuesdays at 9pm.
Take A Break From Social Media
First things first, it’s time to spend less time on social media—i.e. the place where your friends lives are on display. If you find yourself annoyed by an inundation of posts about engagements or babies or weddings, simply spend your time elsewhere. Taking a detox from social media will help you not only diminish your stress levels, but it will also give you the opportunity to spend more time focusing on yourself, instead of other people.
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Examine Your Relationships
It’s possible that the reason you are so annoyed by these posts is because you feel something is missing, or not happening in your own life. If you’re single, watching other people get engaged and married might make you question your own ability to do so. If you’re in a relationship, you might start questioning the commitment between you and your partner.
Though it’s unhealthy to compare yourself to the people you are seeing getting married, you can use it as a guide to examine your own life. Ask yourself some questions, such as: Am I happy in my current relationship? Do I want to get married some day? Do my future goals align with those of my partner's? Be brutally honest, and then pursue what you want.
Focus On The Positives Of Single Life
Being engaged and getting married is great for certain people at certain times. Instead of obsessing over what’s happening in their lives, celebrate the fact that you are not engaged. Instead, focus on how awesome the freedom of being single is, or how content your relationship as it is. Focus on the fact that you don’t have to spend a ton of your money planning a wedding, and adding all that extra stress to your life.
Plan Something Big
Why not deal with all of these engagement statuses by deciding to focus on your own big announcement? Think about something big you’ve always wanted to do—maybe it’s a trip to another country, buying your own car or house, or getting a dog. Whatever it is, start planning for a date when you are going to make your dream a reality. On one hand, it’s a distraction from all of the announcements. On the other, it will give you a meaningful experience.
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Sure, if you’re going to propose to a significant other, it should be out of love and not because your peers are doing it. However, if you do crave the experiences you’re seeing on Facebook, and you are in a relationship that’s ready to go to the next level, then by all means go for it.
Not sure if your relationship is ready for the next level? Have a look at our show Altar’d, where couples are separated for 90 days of fitness training and personal discovery before getting married. It will certainly provide some context for the type of commitment marriage takes.