Moving in with your significant other is a big step. It doesn’t just mean that you’ll spend A LOT more time together. Signing leases, sharing groceries, paying bills, and cleaning all become part of your relationship. These elements have their pros and cons, and are worth considering when deciding to move in together. If you’re considering this decision, look for these signs that show the two of you are ready to get your own place:
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You’ve had big fights, but made up.
Knowing you and your significant other can handle fights is crucial to determining whether or not to live together. If you haven’t had any big arguments yet, that’s a sign that it’s not time to move in together, because you haven’t seen how each other deals with or controls their anger. This isn’t something you want to discover after signing a lease.
Moreover, when you move in together, you’ll start to see your partner in different ways: Are they clean? Do they leave a pile of dishes in the sink for you? Do they hog the TV remote? Do they pay their bills on time? If you know the two of you can handle arguments that arise from these variables, then you’re golden.
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You travel well together.
It’s important to travel and spend a good amount of time alone with each other before moving in together. The main reason is that it gives you both the opportunity to see how you do when all you have is each other. If you don’t get bored or frustrated on a trip, that’s a good sign that living together will be an easy transition. But if all you did was argue, or if one of you had to constantly drag the other out to go do things, you might not be meant to be roommates quite yet.
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You’re BOTH financially stable.
Some couples rush to move in together to save money on rent. While it’s great to be able to share bills with someone, it can become a problem if only one of you is financially stable enough to pay them. If your partner doesn’t have money for rent one month, you will end up paying the whole bill, which you may be fine with at first, until it becomes a regular issue. Also, if you’ve never talked with each other about where you each stand financially, sharing a place might cause you to bump heads over who has to pay what bills and how much you can spend on things like groceries.
Talking about money can be an awkward and uncomfortable conversation to have with your partner, but you need to be able to have such talks to do something as big as this.
The two of you live similar lifestyles.
Moving in together is not going to work if one of you works all day and the other works the night-shift. It would be especially important not to start out this way when you first move in, because you might be let down by your partner always being gone, and if there are no other roommates, it will get lonely. If you both have similar working hours or jobs and like to do the same things afterward, then you are in a good position to move in. But if one of you likes to stay up late and the other needs a solid eight hours of sleep, you might clash more than you think.
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You’re both ready to give up your independence.
Independence is important, and it doesn’t go totally out the window when moving in with a significant other. It does, however, change and diminish. While you’ll still have opportunities to pursue your goals and find your own entertainment, you also have a responsibility to share some of those things with your loving roomie, or at least talk about them when you get home. If you aren’t ready to give up the freedom of acting without explanation, it might make moving in with someone pretty tough.