Getting hitched is exciting and may seem like the natural thing to do when you’re in love, have been with someone a long time and want to spend the rest of your lives together, as husband and wife. While that’s sweet and lovely to behold, and we really do wish you the very best, here’s an alarming statistic: every 10 to 13 seconds, someone is getting divorced.
Yes, you read that right. In the time it took you to finish that sentence and splutter your mouthful of coffee, a couple parted ways despite having vowed that they wouldn’t ever do that. This is a good wake up call for those preparing to walk down the aisle, to examine closely whether you’re ready for the next big phase of your life.
Read on and take notes, as we tackle the six most important issues every couple needs to address before getting married:
- Do Your Communication Styles Match?
If one of you is the strong, silent type, and the other prefers to always talk about their feelings, there’s going to be a clash and several opportunities for misunderstandings. Figure out what works for both of you if you want to stay together.
- Are You An Early Bird, While They’re A Night Owl?
It’s simply not funny when one of you wakes up, filled with energy and raring to go at the crack of dawn, while the other feels alive only at night. This mismatch in lifestyle will dictate many things, from the activities you are able to pursue together, to your levels of stamina and patience being tested when your partner clearly wants to stay up later or sleep earlier than you.
- Are Your Definitions Of Privacy The Same?
Boundaries are healthy and necessary if you’re going to be living in close quarters with someone, day in and day out. While being privy to your partner’s medical history and possible addictions is essential, you might see differently on other issues. From sharing each other’s secrets and information with outsiders, to leaving the door shut when you pee, everything is a potential minefield, especially when one person might be happy to share all their passwords, while the other insists on erasing their web history after every computer session.
- Do You Handle Money The Same Way?
It pays to know how your partner likes to spend, save, share and account for their earnings. Knowing each other’s current debt, number of credit cards owned, and even credit history is important, since these facts impact you as well, especially when you decide to buy a house, have kids, go on vacation, or try to take a break from or quit a job.
- Have You Discussed Future Plans?
Having your individual life goals aligned is the first step to finding a partner and yet it is often sacrificed at the altar of love. Do you discuss where you see yourselves five years down the line in terms of careers, location, financial assets, children, and pets? If one of you is a detailed planner and the other prefers spontaneity, there’s going to be an epic mismatch.
- How Will You Share Responsibilities & Religious Beliefs?
If you can’t see eye to eye on who does the dishes or whether your kids will be raised religious or secular, there’s going to be some serious trouble. Deciding how to split the bills, household chores and even parenting roles, needs to be done before you enter a marital contract.
Besides these, there are many questions you should be asking yourself before committing to a lifetime of togetherness, so simply take a deep breath, trust your instincts and don’t forget to refer to this list for the important ones.
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