The first flush of new love is always charismatic, making you feel special and worthy of affection. But what happens when the façade of the perfect relationship falls apart, and you settle in to who you really are?
If your partner’s behavior is not honest and agreeable, or simply not in tandem with your life philosophies, you soon begin to feel the pressure. Relationship coach Adrienne Gusoff explains, “In such cases, we’re left with all our emotional baggage, our positive and negative behaviors, and rationalizations. If we’re lucky, things remain good and loving. But very often, the baggage proves to be too overwhelming. Then, we find ourselves in the middle of a relationship that is making us unhappy and frustrated, leaving us feeling unloved and unlovable.”
This could also lead to self-doubt, and you wonder if it’s just a bad phase, or you’re destined for misery. It could lead you to becoming bitter and feeling incomplete, eventually rubbing off on the other aspects of your life. You ought to know that such a relationship is not worth it.
Jay Lowder, social evangelist and author of Midnight in Aisle 7 helps demystify the signs that say it’s time to let go. Read on to understand and analyze whether your relationship is worth pursuing any further.
1. Freedom & Respect
Healthy connections should always be centered on celebrating freedom. If your partner tries to manipulate you to get his or her way, it is a red flag for selfish behavior.
2. Loyalty To One Another
Emotions are as unreliable as the weather forecaster, and relationships can bring us euphoria as well as despair. Good ones are all about devotion, allegiance and loyalty to one another. If you’re not experiencing any of these, it’s definitely time to reassess things.
3. Support & Encouragement
In the beginning of any relationship, your partner will seek to inspire you, validate your opinions, edify your self image, and recognize your achievements. If you’re not getting any of these, it’s surely going to bring you down and break your morale. You don’t want to be in such a place.
4. Shared Values & Beliefs
Different priorities and vision lead to division and turbulence. Spiritual, educational, and moral boundaries and stances should, at the minimum, be respected, heard and accepted. It is difficult to share a relationship with someone who doesn’t have similar values and beliefs.
5. Exceed Mere Physical Needs
Contrary to popular belief, satisfaction and completion is not based solely on sexual fulfillment. Genuine love is based, not only on what one can receive from another, but also on what one can give.
If your current relationship doesn’t measure up in these terms, leave this toxic atmosphere before it can do you more harm. You most certainly deserve better.