Embrace A New Normal: Shed People Who Drain You

by Emma Bathie


“You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” ~ Jim Rohn

The one true way to reprogram and  biologically “mess with your brain,” to give you different results in life, is to change the people you choose spend time with on a daily basis. It sounds a little drastic, but hear me out.

We’ve all got that one person who ends up driving us crazy. You get off the phone or leave a coffee date with them and you’re exhausted – emotionally, mentally and physically. If you only saw them occasionally this might not be a big deal. But you and I both know this person has enough drama going on that their needs are all consuming.

It’s hard to say no to people who have been in your life for any length of time. But there can be moments where you’re feeling stuck, smothered or suppressed by those around you. Or, you might find yourself in a relationship that’s going nowhere. And you could discover your social circle is no longer a place where you feel supported or elevated. If you've found yourself at any of those junctures, then it’s time for a self-intervention.

Why? Because as long as you see your circumstances, and those who drain the pants off you as “normal”, life will not change. I find this fact fascinating – biologically, we’re wired to become what we perceive to be “normal”.

For example, if you’ve grown up in a family that thinks going to college and becoming a doctor or lawyer is normal, then chances are that’s what you’ll do – at least to begin with. Or if you’ve grown up surrounded by people who believe French fries are a vegetable and weighing 200 pounds is normal, there’s a good chance you’ll also be heavy as well.

Now let’s flip this around to something that you might really want - a sculpted core and booty to match, anyone? Start hanging out with the cardio barre crowd and see how fast your body changes. Want to feel more ease and grace in your life? Start spending time with people who radiate this mindset.

This works because you literally change your brain’s perception of what is normal. If you want a different life, then you have to surround yourself with people who think about the things you want, as normal.

You can also think about it this way – what are you energetically saying when you hold onto people who drain you? You’re saying it’s ok for you to be held there with them. And for as long as you do that, you’re not allowing anything different to come into your life. The following quote says this perfectly:

“Never fear quitting that which is dragging down your soul, for in the white space of time and energy created in the absence of what is wrong will enter what could be right, what perhaps was intended for you, what could free and lift your weary spirit.”
~ Brendon Burchard


Emma Bathie is a Soul Happiness Coach. Read more of her articles and learn how to create more of life's magic HERE.

Browse more articles on wellness, mindfulness and relationships here.

Join The Conversation



What's On Now & Next


Channel Finder

Find Z Living in your area