You’ve had your brain fried trying to decode how to crack this whole online dating scene, with your digital device being transformed into a battlefield and the rules having turned even more confounding. You tweaked your dating app profile to meet all the right criteria that smart, funny and warm women are looking for but have met with little to no success. And Lord knows you’ve perused every self-help book on dating for men, which promise to teach you how to attract and keep the woman of your dreams, satisfied, and come up with nothing to show for it.
It doesn’t matter how amazing you think you are, or how intelligent you come across to the fairer sex, you just don’t seem to be making any headway when it comes to impressing the ladies. Wanna know a secret that works without fail? Get a dog.
Seriously, we’re not kidding here. Even the strongest, most independent and equal-opportunity obsessed feminist cannot resist puppy eyes. So instead of spending hours in front of the mirror trying to perfect those hang-dog looks to get some female attention, just walk to your closest animal shelter and adopt a dog.
Did you know that each year, an estimated 3-4 million animals wait in shelters for someone to give them a safe, loving home and when they don’t get adopted, are tragically euthanized?
Don’t let that happen for at least one little fella. Pop by your nearest shelter and in honor of Adopt A Dog Month, which is every October, pick a puppy or even an older dog, and prepare to have the ladies work their way to you, even if it’s just to coo over your cute, four-legged baby. You should also know that women are attracted to men with dogs because it shows how compassionate they are, and this probably points to his being a kind person in general.
Adopting a dog is sure to get you results hitherto unimaginable with even the best wingman in the busiest bar, as far as dating is concerned. As a bonus, it’s been scientifically proven that your health will improve, you will have an exercise buddy and will be less likely to get depressed, and you will always have a bodyguard.
Don’t we always have your best interests at heart? You’re welcome.