Teens whose parents use guilt or withholding have trouble working out disagreements well into adulthood.

To maintain healthy relationships, it is important to be able to assert one’s own beliefs during a disagreement while also continuing to be warm towards the person.

Teens who struggle with confidently expressing their opinions during a disagreement are at risk for using hostile methods in their own relationships and experiencing depression and loneliness in close relationships in adulthood.

Some parents used psychological control by saying, for example, “If you really cared for me, you wouldn’t do things to worry me,” or by becoming distant when their teens didn’t see eye to eye with them.

The more psychological control parents exerted, the more difficulties teens had establishing a sense of independence and closeness during a disagreement with close friends and romantic partners, they were less likely  to express their own opinions, give reasons why they felt that way, and do so in a warm, collaborative way.

In general, psychological control is not a good way to parent, so it would be better if parents didn’t use psychological control at all.

If you find yourself withdrawing love from your child when they misbehave or ignoring them for extended periods of time, this may be a warning sign that you’re being too psychologically controlling.

I think children will also let parents know when they’re feeling controlled, so pay attention to your child’s cues, they’re not often subtle.

Unfortunately, most parents who use psychological control regularly are not aware of it and may not desire to change.

Psychological control is more about the parent getting what he or she wants rather than about what is best for the child, so examine your goals.

One of the insidious things about psychological control is that it is so difficult to detect, even for the person being controlled .That makes it harder to eradicate.

Parental psychological control may directly cause teen social struggles, or there may be a more complicated explanation .It is very possible that children with a particular personality may be more likely to illicit psychological control from their parents, and those same traits may also make social interactions more difficult.

Content modified from the post of Kathyrn Doyle on Reuters.

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